Our lives will always throw curve balls at us, in the form of life, work and personal challenges, people that challenge us and circumstances that force us to make decisions and conclusions.
How we come at this or make decisions about these, is always up to us. You are always in control of yourself and the conclusions you make. I know it doesn't always feel like that but it's true, ultimately we all make the final decisions. Within the space of deciding, we can do one of two things, we either support ourselves or sabotage ourselves. Naturally there are exceptions to this, where our power has been taken from us. But on a daily basis, we can choose which way to go. Love or fear.For example, you do or make something you are truly proud of, you want to show it to a close friend or family member. Are you just wanting to show them or get their approval?You'll know the answer when they give you their thoughts.
I recently went through this, and their thoughts were not positive, so I immediately blamed myself and agreed with them. That's the sound of self sabotage!Two things to think of, what's their knowledge or interest level? and why does there opinion matter? If it's a peer in that subject, then they may have valid thoughts but if it's a person that doesn't understand what you're about or doing, then it's like asking a penguin about an Indian curry recipe. You are trying to validate yourself through others and that is not the bar which you must reach for. Only you know your true potential, so yes of course get some constructive thoughts but when it gets personal or mean, say thank you and move on. When we only want approval or validation we are almost certainly heading for fear and self sabotage, as they will hold the strings to your heart and spirit. So start to ask yourself the question, am I supporting myself with this person, job, decision etc OR sabotaging myself and beliefs for the want of validation, from someone perhaps, that doesn't even truly know you. This counts for family too by the way. As much as they love you in their own way, their perspective is their own and as I said before no-one truly knows your potential and if we keep sabotaging ourselves for the want of others' approval we are doomed. We are running toward fear instead of steadily walking toward love, love of yourself and the universal potential.
A third point to think about is that we have the power of giving something a meaning, even if it doesn't actually mean anything at all. So for instance, my good friend, hypnotherapist and light worker Danna Maloney says, 'to a chef a wooden spoon represents an important tool for making delicious food. However, to a small child that may have been hit by a wooden spoon as punishment, it comes with a negative memory and connotations.'
So, think about how you give away your power, through self sabotage or giving meaning to something that has no relevance to you personally. Each of us has a seperate path in this lifetime, giving someone else's opinion full validation is like giving them your remote control and hoping they know which channel and show you want to watch. So next time you want to ask for someone's opinion or aren't sure of your decisions, ask yourself - am I supporting or self sabotaging? It's ok to get opinions just don't take them personally and don't attach your inner spirit to them. Choose love not fear.
* If you want to get in touch with an amazing Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master, Specialised Kinesiologist, EFT and Practitioner of Time Line Therapy, check out Dannas' website dannamaloney.com
**Please note, I'm not a qualified psychologist, all themes in this blog are just my beliefs from my personal experience and research. If you feel you need medical help always seek a qualified medical expert.