Updated: Nov 5, 2021
In my search for answers to the hard questions of life, I discovered a group of thinkers that embody mindfulness and spirituality. I have already mentioned Eckhart Tolle in a previous blog and will more than likely recount his beliefs again, but today I'd like to introduce you to Wayne Dyer (if you haven't already heard of him), and although he passed away in 2015 his teachings live on.
Wayne was an internationally renowned author and speaker in the fields of self-development and spiritual growth. Over the four decades of his career, he wrote more than 40 books, including 21 New York Times bestsellers. Wayne also produced many audio and video programs, and appeared on thousands of television and radio shows around the world, most recently before his passing on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday. Needless to say he knows his spirituality and is still a beacon for those of us wanting more deep meaning in our life.My favourite lessons he taught are a few of many, but these I love and live by.
1. You can't give away what you don't have. That doesn't mean being selfish and keeping everything for yourself, it means knowing when to replenish your inner cup so that you can give to your family and friends. On planes they tell you to always put the oxygen mask on yourself first then children or others, that's because if you don't have the means to help yourself, you can't help others. I see this in many of my fellow mums, where we give and give because family or society or our own inner voice says we should serve at all times. But then it's a surprise when we finally break down or get sick. We didn't care for ourselves. When do you take time for self care? Ever buy yourself a bunch of flowers or a magazine or sit with a coffee by yourself or a good friend? I didn't and then my mind and body said 'computer says no'! Anxiety took over. I was blessed to have a great family who understood and gave me the support I needed. But if you don't and it's just you, still make that 10mins for yourself and don't feel guilty, this is your life after all and a happy you equals a happy family, life and work.
2. As you think, you shall be. This is a biggie. This alone changed my views on the world and my life. Einstein said 'you can either see the universe as friendly or full of enemies'. So do you go through life thinking negative and pessimistically or do you choose to try and believe the good in people or a situation? It's an easy trap to fall into, as news, television and social media are sprouting with bad news stories, commercialisation and negative messages. So then it really is our job to rise above it, for me as a mum, it's imperative, I want my kids to know that yes there are people making bad choices BUT life is a gift and the world needs good news, good vibes and good people. The negative brings on stress and worry and can morph into serious illness. Also, if you are a sensitive person like myself, you easily take on others feelings or moods, so ask yourself, are you really feeling anxious or stressed? Or are you taking on others anxiety or stress? In the next 24 hours, write down all the negative thoughts you have, you'll be surprised at the list. Try to switch from negative to positive and see how you feel.
3. When you change the way you look at things - the things you look at change.This carries on from number two for me, because as soon as you switch from seeing things as negative to positive, YOU change. That doesn't mean things get better quickly or go away but your perception of that situation gets elastic, meaning you are no longer a victim but a victor, you are the change for the better, you change the way you come at a perceived problem and say 'ok it's not good so how can I see it differently or perhaps I've only been seeing it from a negative viewpoint'. Every perceived problem is a lesson and an opportunity for growth. Watch kids playing with a pile of lego on the floor, we see it as a mess but they see the multiple opportunities for creation, because they have no bias yet, they see options not problems. Our bias also creates stories about people we meet or circumstances we see, but as we only see one side, we are missing vital pieces of the puzzle. So give change a chance.
4. There are no justified resentments. Simply put, when you hold onto resentment about anything, from an ex partner that left you or a boss that ripped you off, that feeling hurts YOU not them. They are living their life, they're moving on and you are leaving yourself behind, in a state of anger, sadness, hurt or betrayal. There's much more to this subject so I might leave it for another blog but take note, holding onto that negative head or heart space will only cause YOU harm and don't you deserve to live a happy life, don't you want to break the shackle of that person or situation?
5. Don't die with your music still in you. My favourite of all, don't die with your music still in you. This is the only life we have or at least remember right? So why roadblock your dreams?It would be a shame that at the end of your life you regretted all the things you didn't do. Our limiting beliefs create a vault in which we hold our dearest and deepest dreams or wants, they are held there because our ego (inner ego) is protecting us from potential disappointment or failure. But haven't we failed ourselves if we don't give it a go? And what if you can't sing like Pavarotti or Celine Dion, or the guy you like rejects you or you discover hip hop dancing is not for you , at least you gave it a go. And please don't worry about what others will think or say, they have their own vault and their own stuff going on. You know what your dreams are, write a book, be a restaurant owner, try acting, get some colour into your life and by the end of it all, you don't need a bucket list because your life was full and fun. And let's not underestimate fun, not everything in life has to be so serious. There is joy, fun and peace wherever you want to see it.
*These blogs are based on my thoughts and beliefs so please take them as you wish, hopefully kindly and with respect. Thank youThis blog respects copyright laws and is shared for educational purposes only.